Any room on this page for a beautiful call-out? (TW for ableism, possible cissexism, rape)
Basically one of my FB friends responded to a horrible article going around about rape prevention tips offered by convicted rapists.
It’s mostly in Spanish, but I’ll offer a rough translation here:
First post: I’m furious at this post. Why is it my job to prevent (rape)? As if it were something that women “ask for”. The same people go on to say, “who told you to walk around alone at that hour of the night”? Hello! Let’s work on the sexist ways of thinking that say “men can’t help themselves, they are sexual beings” and that rape is something people ask for. They aren’t and it isn’t. Rant over.
Reply: Question: do posts about what to do to avoid getting robbed (not leave backpack in car, don’t talk on phone while walking) cause the same outrage? If not, aren’t they the same principles? I am not disagreeing with your post, and I also disagree with the victim-blaming a lot of rape victims get. I’m asking because I feel like they are the same principles, but at the same time it just seems more outrageous, as you pointed out, when it’s applied to rape, but I still can’t exactly point out why.
Second post: What principles are you talking about, [redacted]? When I think about these issues, I think about both sides—perpetrator vs victim. I think of their reasons (or try to understand) the perpetrator’s side, and I guess that my opinion might be biased due to a generalized profile I have of people who steal and those who harass or rape. I usually imagine people who steal as doing it out of need or desperation; Then I imagine those who harass or rape as needing power and control. And I do get it, both actions probably have some relation to their circumstances, but I think those who steal have less agency over their actions (I might be wrong?…but I don’t think so…he.) Then, I think about the other side, the victim. The victim populations seem to differ because mostly women experience and report harassment (talking about numbers). So, rape seems to be more specific towards a certain group of people—women who (ACCORDING TO THE ST**ID ARTICLE, wear ponytails and walk alone at night, etc). I guess that this is where we agree, that the victim shouldn’t have to change these actions, whether it be stealing or rape. But I also associate stealing with material objects and rape steals waaaay more—dignity, self esteem, love, and leaves the victim scared of anyone hurting their person (their person, like we say in spanish that includes honor and all of that good stuff. So one is an attack on a person, a specific person wheres as the other one is attack on a person without necessarily physically harming, and could be out of need.
The rest is in English.
Seeing these kinds of things gives me hope for the future of our country.
I know this is off topic, but a shout out to my bilingual folks who submit here AND translate for us English-only speakers. Y’all hold a special place in my heart.